They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
