Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
