thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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