then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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