You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington†of vaginas.
Randomize
