@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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