and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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