I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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