I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Bring me that man meat
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
