let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
