i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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