Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize