just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
