and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
