Swine flu is the new snow day.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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