Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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