The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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