We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
