I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
