We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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