I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
