Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
