So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
