i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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