Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
how drunk are you?
Several
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize