Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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