you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
