I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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