Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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