well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
