how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
