I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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