Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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