Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
