she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
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