by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
