i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
