Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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