This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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