There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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