That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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