I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
