Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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