and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
