Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
