He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
