He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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