Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
