Whod you bang
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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