You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
two words: eviction party
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
areolas are like halos for boobs.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
