sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Randomize
