I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
