brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
