Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
