The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
