It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
