): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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