AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
