i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
