Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
