What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
