i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just blew my weed a kiss
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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