i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
