Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You can't motorboat a personality
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Im part way to drunk.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
