I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
