Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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