Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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