wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
