Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
