Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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