these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
