Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
