just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
